


Mr Greenwood

by eyeslikerain



Category: Maurice (1987), Maurice - E. M. Forster
Genre: AU autumn 1913, Finding Love in Unexpected Places, M/M, roaming the greenwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-05-07 09:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14667747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyeslikerain/pseuds/eyeslikerain
Summary: Maurice follows Lasker Jones's advise to ask a lawyer about Alec's letter - and finds himself in a greenwood of a rather special sort





	1. Mr Greenwood

**Author's Note:**

  * For [12XU](https://archiveofourown.org/users/12XU/gifts).



> An AU without Alec is the saddest thing ever - I'm with you. I love all the wonderful fics here giving Maurice and Alec a happily ever after, and for me, they are the perfect couple. (So, please, don't slay me...)  
> But - Forster himself let Alec emigrate in an early draft. And let him escape the war - see it from this point!  
> And I wondered: what about Maurice? Would he slide back into loneliness or emotional dependency on Clive, or is London big enough for surprises?
> 
> For 12XU - you said you liked Percy - here you are, he's all your's now… With many thanks for your constant encouragement and support behind the scenes!

When Maurice stepped out into rainy Bloomsbury, Lasker Jones‘s last words still echoed in his head: „It‘s a matter on which you should consult your solicitor, not me.“ Even if Lasker Jones had burned Scudder‘s letter in front of his eyes, he felt more troubled than before. Truly like walking on a volcano and more disturbed than ever because the doctor had so readily mentioned lawyers and solicitors. Was the case more serious than he saw it? Should he be more cautious, better take some steps in advance to have something in his hands before Scudder wrote again? Avoiding puddles and collisions with other umbrellas, he aimlessly wandered the streets. The first night, the first encounter of the sort he had longed for for years, and it ended so sordidly. He felt doomed. 

Another clash with a passer-by stirred his will to fight. No, he wouldn‘t let himself be pushed and bossed around. And by a gamekeeper, of all people! He needed to take action, take the wind out of Scudder‘s sails before he really got a menace. Even if he said he would emigrate in a few days – who knew what his family or his brother were capable of. When uneducated people saw their chance to get into money without doing much for it, it was better to - a brass plate caught his attention. „Collins and Patch, Solicitors“. The law firm Hull and Hall used to work with whenever necessity arose. Should he just step in and get an estimate? Or – rather not an office he was tied to professionally? But he could just ask for a recommendation. Be as vague as possible, inquire if they took cases like his at all or if they knew of some expert for blackmailing.

 

Maurice stepped inside. After some moments, relieved of his dripping umbrella and coat, he found himself shown to a smaller office to a Mr Greenwood, junior partner, who would take down his inquiriy in the absence of Mr Patch. Mr Greenwood, a slim, genuine redhead about his own age, was a bit smaller than Maurice when he rose and shook his hand:

„How do you do. Please have a seat.“

Maurice sat down and took in the elegantly furnished room. Two large windows gave onto the little tree-lined square he just came from, hung with floor-length cream-coloured curtains. A light yellow wallpaper with a discreet diamond pattern formed the background for high-class, elegant furniture. Bookcases holding leather-bound volumes, several framed etchings of country houses, a vase with tulips on the mantlepiece added a distinguished touch. Quite different from his rather dark and austere office. Tasteful and cosy, more like a Cambridge study than a workplace.

„I say, very nice room you‘re having! Quite different from where I work!“

„And where would that be?“

„Oh – I‘d rather not give you the name, if you don‘t mind. But it‘s a mostly male surrounding. I‘m working in finance. No flowers or pretty pictures on the wall...“

„The flowers are my fancy. The girls working here don‘t have time for minor matters like that. I buy them when I get off the tube, you know? There‘s a flower lady.“

Maurice smiled and remained silent. The lawyer‘s vivid eyes were dark blue and stood out strikingly from his copper hair that flopped around seemingly tamed, but a bit unruly. He was handsome in a peculiar way. Not at first sight, maybe, due to a certain angularity and pallor of complexion. But striking and rather unique. Certainly someone you would distinguish in a crowd easily.

„Once you work yourself up to being a partner, you have a certain influence on how your room looks like“, he continued. „I need a certain level of – well, beauty around me. At home also. But, Mr Hall, you didn‘t come here to discuss interior decoration with me. What can I do for you?“

Maurice cleared his throat. He hadn‘t expected someone so young. How much experience did he have? Was he the right person? Could he be trusted? While he still searched for words, Mr Greenwood tried to encourage him:

„I understand it‘s a case of alleged blackmail that bothers you?“

„Yes, that‘s right. Although – I‘m suddenly not sure anymore.“

„If it‘s blackmail?“

„No, if I should take action. I came here rather on an impulse, you see. Was a bit desperate. I don‘t know if I overreacted. Sorry for having taken your time...“

Maurice started to rise. The lawyer calmed him with a gesture of his hand and signalled to sit down again:

„Now, Mr Hall, since you‘re here already – why don‘t you tell me more. Blackmail can be a very severe nuisance and should be stopped in it‘s beginnings. You know that. You did the right thing.“

Blue eyes, very blue eyes holding his gaze. The fellow knew how to treat timid customers. Maurice sat down again and sighed softly.

„It all seems – sordid and harmless now. I‘m sorry.“

„Tell me. And remember this is strictly confidential. Nothing you tell me will leave the room.“

Mr Greenwood had picked up a pen and rested it over a pad of paper.

„Would you mind not writing anything down? At first, I mean?“

„Well, it‘s the normal procedure, as I will have to go over your case with Mr Patch next week“ - the solicitor saw Maurice‘s frightened eyes and put down the pen. „I see. If you are more comfortable with just talking...“ He interlaced his elegant, long hands, milky white as his complexion, and looked at Maurice invitingly. Maurice nodded, still unsure how to begin. The lawyer waited so long that it almost became awkward. Two men in a room, sitting across from each other, smiling amiably but in a strained silence. A bit strange, his visitor, wasn‘t he? Very troubled indeed, and nervous, but unable to voice what upset him. Innocent, from what he saw. Likely to be a victim. Too kind and good-hearted despite his attractive masculine appearance. They smiled some more at each other. Maurice got up suddenly, walked to the window and started to talk with his back to the room:

„You see, I had a letter.“

He looked back over his shoulder and saw the lawyer nodding.

„Might be a completely harmless letter. Might be more. I‘m troubled.“

„Does the letter ask you to do something? Hand over money?“

„No, no. Nothing of that sort. Yet. I really think it‘s harmless. But“ - Maurice sighed - „I just don‘t know. Should I do anything?“

„Before answering this question, I should need to know what the letter is about. May I see it?“

„I burned it.“

„You burned the single piece of evidence? Forgive me for saying so, but that was a bit rash.“ „Erotic blackmailing, most likely“, Greenwood thought. „Frightened. A bit guilty, all right, but… Let‘s see.“ He cleared his throat:

„Do you expect a second one?“

„I don‘t know.“ Maurice looked at him with almost desperate fear in his eyes. He leaned on the windowsill, his face in the shadow, his athletic build showing nicely against the gray light coming from outside.

„What does this person ask of you?“

Maurice looked at him with wide-eyed desperation.

„Nothing yet. But...“ He turned and started for the door. Mr Greenwood got up swiftly and faced his reluctant patron:

„Mr Hall, you seem troubled. I‘m here to help you. And if you decide to leave now, please don‘t forget – I can help you. Come back later if you feel more at ease.“

The two men looked at each other, longer than necessary. They stood just a few inches apart, almost of the same height, the same age. Both seemed to realize this fact only now. They were on equal terms. No one would get a lecture, feel ashamed of something he might or might not have done. They might almost talk like fellow students. Taking in the barely visible tiny freckles on the lawyer‘s nose, Maurice nodded. As his client seemed more comfortable standing, Mr Greenwood continued softly:

„Is it a case of – erotic entanglement?“

Maurice nodded silently.

„I see. We got that fairly often. It‘s the most common case for blackmail, you see. Especially as there are usually no witnesses.“

Maurice averted his gaze. What a likeable, shy fellow. What a pity he had gotten himself into this muddle.

„From what you told me, I assume the writer of said letter has – a different background than you? Speaking class-wise?“

Again, Maurice nodded helplessly.

„A servant?“

„Yes“, was the toneless answer.

„Are you married?“

The „No!“ came so quickly and sounded so insulted that Greenwood smiled inwardly. An easy case.

„Mr Hall, don‘t you worry. You‘d be astonished how many cases like your‘s we have here. Sadly, it‘s a common way for the lower classes to try to get some extra money. If you aren‘t married, you don‘t have to fear anything legally. Morally, you might seem troubled, depending on your upbringing and beliefs. I can‘t help you with that. But legally - if the other party isn‘t underage and consented to the act, you have the law on your side. Can‘t have many consequences for you. Unless, of course, the girl shows to be in delicate circumstances. But we would have to wait a few weeks to ascertain this, and I wouldn‘t believe anything without an attest from a doctor of our choice. And even then“ - Maurice groaned. He collapsed onto the chair and hid his face in his hands. Mr Greenwood lowered himself onto the table, sitting casually on the edge of it in physical closeness to his desperate patron. „Even then, I‘m sure there would be a way to settle matters in private. Arrange something financially, I mean. I, or one of the senior partners, could do that for you. You wouldn‘t have to see the girl again yourself. Unless – is she one of your own servants?“

Maurice shook his head. He looked pale.

„It happened on a weekend in a country house. The house of a friend of mine. It‘s his servant.“

„Even better! You wouldn‘t believe how many houseparties have been the aim of assaults like your‘s!“

„Really?“

„Unfortunately, yes.“

Mr Greenwood rearranged his slender legs once more.

„Forgive me for asking again, but – an intimate encounter between you and the writer of the letter took place?“

„Yes.“

„May I ask where?“

„In my room. At night. This person came – uninvited, without any encouragement from me. I was completely taken by surprise.“

Mr Greenwood beamed: „You have the very best cards!“ Maurice looked up, puzzled.

„No backstairs-fling, no dalliance in the pantry or kitchen garden, but an encounter on your own grounds and at a time when the servant shouldn‘t have been there. A pity you don‘t have any witnesses.“

„No, definitely not. It was night and dark.“

„Mr Hall, I can comfort you: you don‘t have to fear anything. We will just wait a few weeks – always the right thing to do with females – and in the meantime, don‘t do anything without consulting with me first. Mainly, don‘t hand over any money. Are you likely to see the person again?“

„No, not very likely.“

„Very good. Just let some time pass. An encounter of this sort doesn‘t need to have an aftermath. You know that as well as I do. Maybe nothing happened.“

Maurice stared at him with eyes wide open:

„How do you mean?“

„I mean, women don‘t conceive all the time. You understand.“

Maurice lowered his eyes and nodded. „My knowledge of women is – rather limited.“

„Poor fellow. Foxed and didn‘t even realize it until now“, the lawyer thought. He smiled sympathetically at his client. „Let me know if something new turns up, will you?“

Maurice shook his hand and replied:

„It was a pleasure meeting you, but considering the circumstances I‘d rather it was the last time I saw you.“

„I don‘t want to sound impolite, but – let‘s hope so. Have a nice day, Mr Hall.“

„You do too. Bye.“

 

After the door had closed on his handsome visitor, Percy Greenwood sat down at his desk again and stared pensively at the empty notepad in front of him. After some moments, he took up the pen and wrote „August 20, 1913 / Mr Hall“. He underlined the few words and looked out of the window. A bit mysterious, a bit nervous. But telling the truth, most likely. Taken by surprise. A virgin, possibly? Somehow overwhelmed and disappointed also. As if he hadn‘t expected an act like this from the person he mentioned. He should have asked him for how long they had known each other. Greenwood tapped the paper with his pen. Unsure if he would see this client ever again, he jotted down just a minimal note: „Case of alleged blackmail. Proof (letter) destroyed by patron. Very vague, uneasy to provide details. Not referred-to servant in a friend‘s household (weekend houseparty). Consultation: 25 minutes.“


	2. Lunch outside

September entered with a blaze of blue skies and trees slowly turning to gold. After the prolonged rainy days of late August, the unexpected clement warmth of the days and the mellow evenings made up for what had been lost of summer in August. Everyone relished being outdoors once more, as often as possible.

Maurice took a short after-lunch stroll before confining himself again to his dim office when he saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench near the British Museum. An unusually red curly shock of hair confirmed what his skipping heart had assumed at first sight: it was the lawyer he had consulted earlier. Surprised by his intense bodily reaction, he slowed down. Mr Greenwood hadn‘t seen him yet, sitting with his back to him, and Maurice pondered walking away, not wanting to be reminded of what was now merely a feeling of heartbreak and loss, much more than threat and anger. But he decided otherwise, turned around the bench and indicated a gallant bow:

„I know this hair. How do you do, Mr Greenwood?“

„Oh, Mr Hall, what a surprise! So good to see you! I have been thinking about you – asking myself how the matter turned out. Are you doing fine?“

„Yes, thank you. I‘m fine. And yourself – enjoying some sun and air?“

„Yes, it‘s splendid, isn‘t it? Who would have thought September would be so nice to us? But, please, have a seat. If you have time, that is?“

„Why, thank you, I‘d be delighted. Just had my lunch.“ The lawyer waved an almost eaten sandwich, wrapped half in paper, in his elegant hand. „Please, go on. Sorry to interrupt you.“

„Not at all. Look here, I got plenty of plums here, would you like one for dessert? Please help yourself.“ Maurice nodded and looked at him intently:

„So we meet again.“

„Yes. Your parting words were… Well. I‘m glad to see you again. Do you work nearby?“

„Yes, just down the street. Hull and Hall, it is.“

„The stockbrokers? You related to this Hall?“

„Actually, yes.“

„I see“, Greenwood said and took one more bite of his sandwich. A pigeon approached them, cocking his head, and he threw some bits of his bread to it. Maurice smiled:

„You shouldn‘t. Soon there will be twenty of them.“

„I know. I do it all the time, though“, Greenwood shrugged. They looked at each other, smirking and somehow glad to be together.

„You seem much more relaxed today. I‘m glad. Would you rather not talk about, ahm, the reason of our aquaintance or may I ask if things worked out to your satisfaction?“

Maurice shook his head: „I don‘t mind. I guess it‘s about time you sent me your bill as it seems it was our only professional meeting.“

„Are you sure? Isn‘t it a bit early to – you know?“

Maurice blushed.

„I happen to know the person in question emigrated. To the Argentine.“

„Really?“

„Yes. Rather desperate measure, isn‘t it? I hadn‘t thought I would be so disappointing in – the matters you know about...“

The lawyer chuckled, his shoulders shaking with barely concealed laughter.

„Now, Mr Hall, that can never be the reason! I am sure you are -“ he went crimson. Maurice smirked when he realized his confusion:

„Sorry, Mr Greenwood. I am just so – relieved, you know, I had to make fun of it.“

The lawyer had found his composure again. His lips were twisted at the ends when he added, still a bit blushed:

„You certainly are charming. I can see… No, sorry, let‘s not joke about it. It‘s too serious, especially after that letter you got. So there was no other one?“ Maurice shook his head. „And nothing else?“

„No. And the person just disappeared, as my friend told me. Guess a little blackmail would have added nicely to the travel fund… Anyway, I was so scared. You saw the state I was in. I overreacted. And wasted your valuable time, I‘m sorry.“

„Don‘t be sorry. Collins and Patch will send you a nice fat bill.“

„Yes, please do. You helped me enourmously back then.“

„Did I?“

„Yes. Just – your presence, you know. Being able to talk about the dirty business with someone.“

„You didn‘t tell your friend? I mean, the one in whose house…?“

Maurice shook his head decidedly: „No. He‘s a saint. With the highest moral standards. No idea why he stands being my friend at all“, he smiled. Greenwood smirked also, but asked:

„But maybe it would have been wiser to tell him? To prevent future – ah, you said the person isn‘t in England any more. Well, so that‘s settled. And you can enjoy this splendid autumn without any worries.“

Maurice nodded. They both leant back on the bench and looked up into the perfect blues sky.

„What a day.“

„Yes. What a gift. Speaking of, how about a plum now?“

„Thanks, kind of you. So, Mr Greenwood, how do you usually enjoy days like these in your leisure?“

„Oh, you know… All sorts of things. Being outdoors, of course. I live near Regent‘s Park. I like to take a book out with me and sit in the park. Also, Kew Gardens. I love the conservatories there. But also, getting out of the humid air again – it‘s always astonishing, isn‘t it, to step back into our climate by just opening a door?“

„Actually, I never did, can you imagine?“

„You should do it some time! You really should! The greenhouses alone are such a sight, and then all those tropical plants!“

Maurice looked at his companion, eyes shining, his whole face lighting up when talking about what fascinated him, and couldn‘t avert his eyes. Greenwood held his gaze, and suddenly, there were those two, three seconds they looked at each other longer than usual that turned the whole moment into something precious. Precious, but awkward. Maurice was the first who exhaled audibly and turned his head. They were silent, but a sudden unexpected tingling still hung in the air between them. 

Without looking at him, Maurice started:

„Mr Greenwood -“

„Percy, please.“

Maurice smiled at him:

„I‘m Maurice. Considering the way we met, and the reason, it might sound, ahm, it might sound inappropriate, but...“

„...would you have dinner with me, Maurice? Some of these days?“, Percy completed the sentence. They both broke out in relieved laughter. Maurice turned to face his companion bodily and tried not to move closer. What a handsome fellow. They looked deep in each other‘s eyes – as deep as English gentlemen on a lunch break in public are allowed to – and saw a secret understanding. No need for more words.

„Yes. Let‘s have dinner.“, Maurice said boldly and matter-of-factly.


	3. Dinner inside

Two days later, Maurice waited on a balmy evening in front of Simpson‘s in the Strand. Dusk was settling on the still bustling streets. The well-dressed crowds, chatting and laughing around him, heightened his spirits. What a different kind of Friday evening! He was glad to escape his usual solitary routines, and he was glad and strangely excited to see Percy again. Percy… It hadn‘t taken him long to think of the attractive redhead in these familiar tones. No intimidating Mr Greenwood anymore, no fear of law and law-suits. He felt immensely relieved everything had worked out so well, and he was unusually elated to spend an intimate evening with his new aquaintance. 

And there he was, hurrying along in formal evening dress, looking even more elegant and slender as usually. A white silk scarf hung a bit askew around his neck, threatening to slide down every second, so Maurice stepped far closer than their just blossoming relationship allowed, took the end of the scarf and draped it over Percy‘s other shoulder:

„You are almost losing this. Just making you look respectable enough for this posh place“, he smiled by way of a greeting. Percy involuntarily had put his hand on Maurice‘s arm, warm and affectionate, almost as if he wanted to embrace him, and Maurice almost reciprocated the other‘s touch out of reflex. Instead, he grabbed him by the upper arms, shook him manly and said:

„Good to see you. Had trouble getting out of work in time?“

„Indeed. Out of work and into this attire right at the office. Had the girls think I have a romantic date. They almost popped the champagne as they already despaired of me ever settling down. So, you are my last straw at respectability.“

„I will do my best!“, Maurice smirked. „Say, are you not married?“

(„Not very discreetly probing the market“, Percy thought. „Interesting. Let‘s see...“)

„No. Happy bachelor. Let‘s go in, shall we? I‘m starved.“

 

After ordering champagne and shrimp salad, Percy continued:

„I am very happily living alone and enjoying it. Thankfully, my parent‘s are so preoccupied with the bunch of grandchildren my four brothers produce each year that they leave me alone.“

„You have four brothers?“

„Yes. Up in Scotland. All of them older. And one sister. She‘s younger than me, and we‘ve been competing for years who‘s the blacker sheep. I was always a bit ahead until she got it into her head to study. She‘s at Newnham. In law also. Campaigning for women‘s vote, just imagine!“

„Oh my goodness. What do your parents say?“

„She convinced my mother very easily to spread the idea to Scotland. Much to my father‘s chagrin. As you might imagine“, Percy smiled while buttering a piece of bread. „Since they spend all their time touring, giving speeches and campaigning, I have them off my shoulders. My father hides in our ancestral home behind his books. And I can lead just the hedonistic, irresponsible life I always fancied. Cheers!“ Percy raised his glass and smiled.

„On hedonism!“, Maurice replied, his eyes sparkling amid the golden reflexes from mirrors and candles.

„So, you make the most of your bachelorhood, I suppose?“

„Oh, less than you, I‘d say. Oh, sorry, that was indelicate. Forgive me.“

Maurice shook his head: 

„It‘s all right. The way we met was – a bit peculiar.“

„It was not very professional of me to allude to it now. I‘m sorry.“

„It‘s all right, don‘t worry. Feels good to be able to joke about the horrific episode.“

 

They were interrupted by the waiter arriving with the roast trolley and carving generous pieces of beef for each of them. When their plates were settled in front of them, Percy tried to take up the light-hearted conversation again but was insecure. His companion suddenly looked thoughtful and serious. 

„Maurice, I didn‘t want to mention it but you look so grave all of a sudden. Everything still all right with these matters?“

„Yes.“ Maurice took up his cutlery energetically and tried a smile, but stopped in his movements:

„You know, I was just thinking why I called it horrific right now. Because...“ His voice trailed off and his eyes wandered around the room. „Because – it was not horrific at all. The encounter per se, I mean. But please, let‘s begin!“, he beamed.

They enjoyed their excellent meal for a few minutes, exchanging just a few remarks about the pleasure of the food, until Maurice continued:

„The more time passes, the more I think I acted too much on impulse. And degraded the whole encounter by assuming the person had selfish or sordid motives. I took much of the magic it actually has had. Thinking back, I must say – now this must sound really strange to you, especially as I implored you for help – it was the most wonderful night of my life.“

Percy‘s eyes became soft and dark. What a strange fellow. Being overwhelmed, assaulted, practically raped most probably, taken advantage of, and – remembering it with so much sentimentality. Rather starved in this department, so it seemed. Poor chap. But, on the whole, he had so much more than he himself. Bragging about a reckless life that existed only in his dreams…

„You know – did you ever have the feeling to… No. Forget it. You must think I‘m very fickle. First complaining to you about it, seeking legal assistance, then telling you I enjoyed it actually… Sorry. It‘s just – I never talked with anyone about it and it was just too – overwhelming and good to hide it. Sorry. I‘m not even drunk yet!“

„So, let‘s work toward it“, Percy smiled and raised his glass of wine. „Well, let me just say: the girl is lucky. Having an obviously enjoyable night with you before disappearing into exciting new quarters… She knows how to live.“

Maurice dropped his eyes. The restaurant, gleaming and echoeing with the conversation and clatter of numerous patrons, resonated with the soft music of a small orchestra. No one could overhear their conversation. Maurice searched for Percy‘s eyes with his and said softly and deliberately:

„It was - not a girl.“

„Pardon me?“, Percy asked back surprised. Maurice remained silent. Percy put his knife and fork down and looked around them. Maurice almost feared he had insulted him when Percy leaned in a bit and said as softly as Maurice had spoken:

„You should have told me. This tiny detail makes a huge difference. Regarding – legal consequences, I mean. Do you understand what I mean?“

Maurice nodded, dumbstruck and with his heart drumming in his ears. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to drop his napkin, drop everything and flee before Percy would call the police.

„Maurice…“ He felt a light brush on his hand, warm, soft fingers on his. „Maurice, do you hear me? You are so pale all of a sudden.“

„It‘s just – you won‘t report me, now will you? Please? This is still – confidential and all?“ He looked so desperate and frightened that Percy leaned in even closer.

„You might report me as well for being - you know. The same as you are, I suppose. Should we be talking about the same thing.“

„Are you...?“

„Like Lord Risley, for instance?“ Percy mentioned the name very softly, as it had become a synonym for a publically condemned lifestyle. Maurice looked at him, startled and strangely overjoyed. Percy nodded. He cocked his head towards their cooling meals, indicating they should keep up appearance after all. After a few bites, he went on, still discreetly and as softly as the surrounding noises allowed:

„Of course, the legal implications are quite different in this case. Women can be assaulted, seduced, raped, impregnated, whatever – treating women badly is no big offence. Not even liable to prosecution usually, and especially if they are servants. If two men do the same thing, it‘s one of the worst offences in the catalogue. As you know. Just imagine“ - he chuckled - „my sister is fighting so much for equality of the sexes that she held a speech in Hyde Park to include female homosexuality into the penal code!“

Maurice almost choked on a green bean: „She didn‘t?“

„Yes, she did. Claimed female sexuality isn‘t inferior to our‘s. In Austria, it‘s prosecutable.“

„I start to like your sister“, Maurice chuckled. Some of the former tension vanished. Maurice took one more sip of his wine.

„I‘m sorry I had withheld this piece of information from you. You seemed so – I don‘t know, well-balanced, light, at ease and so – normal in that pretty office of your‘s. I didn‘t want to drag you down into the dark of – you know. These offences.“

„But – if the servant came to your room, as you said – I mean, you really didn‘t invite him? Or encourage him in any other way?“

„Not that I‘m aware of.“

„Well, he risked a lot. Hope he knows that. Hope he won‘t leave a swath of destruction behind him, wherever he is now. Because – the lower class always has bad cards in court. Look at you, attractive, young, successful – you wouldn‘t need to force someone into going to bed with you.“ Maurice‘s cheeks flushed in a delicate pink. „Any judge would see that at once. So, the other party would be charged. Atrocially so, I fear. You‘d have to pay, even do some time, but his life would be destroyed. And if you decided to deny anything, give him all the guilt...“

„I would never. Percy, this is too awful. I mean, I didn‘t know this lad. Had seen him for the first time only a few days before. But I don‘t want to harm him. He gave me so much happiness.The night was...“

„Yes, I know. You are too good, by the way. I just wanted to illustrate...“

Maurice nodded. They looked at each other silently until Percy let out a breath:

„I say, serious topics for a first date! Do you mind if we talk about the weather for a bit?“

„Yes, I do, actually. Rather tell me how you define date.“

„Oh“, Percy turned slightly pink, „I meant – meeting. Dinner. An evening with a chum. Whatever.“

Maurice raised an eyebrow, enjoyed his companion‘s confusion and decided to try one more bold move:

„Tell me about your apartment. Do you live alone?“

Percy leaned back, placed his knife and fork slowly onto his plate and looked straight and a bit amused at Maurice:

„Yes, I do. Why?“

Now it was Maurice‘s turn to be confused:

„Just asking. Because I live with my mother and sisters, you see. In Alfriston Gardens.“

An awkward tension hung between them.

„Well, well, well, Mr Hall. So – how about pudding? Any desires?“

„No thanks. Some port?“

„Yes.“ Percy‘s answer was rather short and a bit disappointed.

„I don‘t want any dessert because I had enough to eat. But I don‘t want our evening to be over yet.“ Percy looked up and seemed genuinely relieved. „Can I tempt you for a walk at the river?“

„Yes, please, do tempt me. Let‘s skip the port.“

Maurice beamed. 

 

After the noise and light of the restaurant, the fresh air, the darkness outside, the softly lapping waves of dark water and the glittering lights on the river were a welcome change. Maurice and Percy strolled slowly at the embankment, smoking, not talking. Much had been said over dinner, and both needed to process what they had learned about each other. They also enjoyed being mostly by themselves. But it was strange, as it often happens in life: in the restaurant, their exchange had been urgent and necessary. No word could have waited, even if both were aware of the possible danger of being overheard. Now, with only the dark Thames as old, wise and probably benevolent witness, the need to talk ceased. They strolled in companionable, serene silence, until Percy kicked a pebble with his shoe and remarked:

„We are walking on thin ice.“

„How do you mean? Not right now?“

„No, earlier. At Simpson‘s. You know, it sickens me one cannot talk about these matters in public. I mean, one usually doesn‘t talk about private stuff, anyway, but – twisting not to let Risley‘s name be overheard and all that… Did you know him?“

„Yes. We were at Cambridge together.“

„You were at Cambridge?“

„Yes. Got tossed out after a year, though.“

„Is that so? I had friends there, but never saw you. Just imagine“ - Percy stopped and turned towards Maurice. Maurice stood still and looked at him affectionately:

„Yes. Just imagine.“

Percy swallowed. Feeling too close and warm inside, he averted his gaze embarrassed. Taking up their former pace, they continued their walk along the Embankment.

„It‘s peculiar. You see, I had a friend at Cambridge. The great love of my life. Unhappy, of course. But – had I met you then, I wouldn‘t have noticed you because I only had eyes for him. He‘s the saint I mentioned earlier.“ Percy chuckled:

„More an idiot than a saint, I‘d say...“

„It was in his house the – famous encounter which led me to you took place. I came out of love, found a very different kind of easier fulfilled love, and then I...“

They stopped. Percy gently laid a hand onto Maurice‘s forearm:

„Please. Say it.“

Maurice looked at him. He continued almost inaudibly:

„… then I found you.“

Percy nodded and held his gaze. The spell was broken by the loud sound of a horn of a vessel passing by. They grinned.

„I tried to find out earlier, without much success, I‘m afraid, if you are – seeing some one right now...“

„No.“ Large, blue eyes gazing straight into Maurice‘s, glittering lights on the tiny waves of the river to their left. Maurice held his gaze.

„But you have - ?“

Percy nodded and slowly walked on:

„My Oxford love. But a very happy one. Three years.“

„What happened?“

„He married and went to India. Offered me a position as personal assistant and lover, living in his home.“ Percy snorted. „If I hear something like that, I always want to give my sister a hint. His life would be misery and hell once she got him… I don‘t want to know how many women put up with perverted constructs like this, are humiliated and depressed because they know they are always number two. One more reason to fight for de-criminalization...“

„We won‘t live to see it. We are the generation to seek darkness to fulfill our longings.“

„Yes, afraid so. Speaking of darkness, let‘s turn here, shall we? Not that I‘m afraid of… anything...“

„Don‘t take it too lightly. You are brave to trust a known – well, you know what I did.“

Percy snorted: „Come on, you are no lecher. And if, you are the best-mannered and most attractive one I ever met.“

Maurice chuckled, held Percy in his wake and ghosted a light embrace. Brushing his hands on Percy‘s shoulders, he asked softly:

„Can I see you again?“

Percy nodded. Maurice felt a quick touch of the same soft fingers he knew from the restaurant. He took them lightly and, when Percy didn‘t withdraw, squeezed them. They held hands for a moment, safe and alone in the welcoming darkness, and both longed for more.


	4. Explorations

As September turnd into crisper, cooler mornings and October lined the golden leaves with orange and copper touches, Percy and Maurice spent as much time together as their work and other obligations allowed. Maurice still coached Bermondsey youth every other Saturday afternoon, Tuesday evening was reserved for Percy‘s choir. They had lunch together as often as possible, up to four times a week. Wednesday night, they went out for dinner, Sunday saw them exploring the outdoors as long as the weather was as mild as it happened this year. Kew Gardens was a first on the list, as was Kenwood House and it‘s park. One especially fine Saturday saw them boarding the train to Rye and spending a splendid, sparkling day walking at the beach and enjoying a fine meal on an open terrace. 

The train was almost deserted when they started back to London in early autumn twilight. They were lucky enough to have a compartment all to themselves. Without noticing, almost unconsciously, they had become closer over the last weeks, physically as well as emotionally. Long gazes were no reason to blush anymore, but were given and enjoyed deliberately. And there was the all too frequent bumping into each other, brushing of arms or shoulders, faint and insincere apologies afterwards. When together, Maurice and Percy walked through the world as if enclosed in an opalescent soap bubble of their own, hearing and seeing almost nothing besides their own bliss.

Their intimacy had never been a deliberate physical one, though. Each one observed the proprieties – or was too shy to take a first step. Until Percy tentatively laid his hand on Maurice‘s when the train had rattled for some minutes through the pink and orange evening dusk. They had taken seats next to each other instead of opposing ones. Maybe deliberately so, maybe just to get the same look back at the sea. Maurice shot a surprised glance at his friend, turned his hand and welcomed Percy‘s long, slender fingers into his own. They smiled silently and leaned back. Two honourable gentlemen on a train, sitting nicely apart, looking a bit spent from a day in the fresh salt air – but inwardly, burning, almost being devoured by flames and hunger for more. It took a fair amount of restraint to limit their closeness to just their hands. But they managed. Though not without slipping daring fingers under their cuffs, stroking the infinitely delicate and soft skin under their sleeves, feeling the racing and skipping pulse of the other one or the tiny, fragile bones of their wrists. These almost unseen, almost not happening intimacies were more exciting than all too overt ones as they held the promise for so much more, as well as the reassurance that both wanted the same. 

A few minutes before the train was bound to turn into King‘s Cross, Percy moved to face Maurice and asked:

„Would you like to see my place?“

Maurice swallowed: 

„I‘d love to… but I need to get back to Alfriston Gardens.“

„I have a guestroom. You are welcome to stay the night“, Percy said, dropping his eyes.

Maurice sighed audibly and took Percy‘s hands in both of his:

„You know as well as I do that I would not remain in your guestroom if I spent the night with you. You are aware of that, aren‘t you?“

Percy nodded silently, seemingly overcome.

„So, please, ask me only if you are comfortable with...“

Percy looked over his shoulder, quickly laid his hands on Maurice‘s upper arms and touched his cheek with his face:

„I‘m aware of this. I‘d love to have – all of you.“

Maurice groaned into Percy‘s neck and pulled him closer. They hugged awkwardely and twisted, hindered by the armrest between them, until Maurice stroked Percy‘s cheek gently:

„But I can‘t stay tonight. As much as I‘d love to. Told my mother I‘d come back tonight. I don‘t want to upset her with a telegram...“

„How about tomorrow, then? Could you arrange that?“

Maurice nodded. His urge to kiss Percy was overwhelming, but they approached the city. Lighted windows shone in the dark October night, and even if people wouldn‘t be able to discern if the kissing couple on the fast moving train were two men or not, he didn‘t dare to bring Percy into difficulties. Mainly, the difficulty of stopping again once they had started. A first kiss on a train might have a certain romantic touch, but…

„Percy, I‘m dying to kiss you… But we can‘t. Not now. But – consider yourself kissed.“

„Don‘t be a saint!“, Percy exclaimed and fervently pressed his lips on Maurice‘s. Quickly, tentatively at first, until he realised his friend was gone too much to resist. To the train‘s whistles and squeaking breaks, they kissed desperately, making the most of every second they still had. Pulling apart against their will when the lighted station appeared in front of their window, Percy mumbled:

„Why didn‘t we do that in Rye? And all afternoon?“

Maurice nodded, sadly and wickedly at the same time. 

„Really could have used this outing much better. Let‘s make up for it tomorrow, shall we?“

 

******************

 

Percy lifted his head which had rested on Maurice‘s soft stomach for the last minutes. While he listened to Maurice‘s calming pulse, he had been stroked and caressed with great tenderness. The afternoon still offered enough light in his elegantly furnished sea-green bedroom, but he pondered getting some candles. And some water.

Languidly, he moved up and laid down on the pillow next to Maurice. Tracing his sweaty chest and neck, he gazed at him. Still overwhelmed by the power of their lovemaking, he almost couldn‘t find any words. Maurice leaned in to kiss him, wet and long, but drowsy with fulfilled satisfaction. Percy responded and traced Maurice‘s soft lips with his tongue:

„I‘ve wanted this for so long“, he sighed.

„So did I“, Maurice answered.

„Are you hungry? I prepared some tea...“

The first coherent sentences since Maurice had entered his apartment one hour before. Maurice had scooped him up, swept him off his feet in a long and passionate kiss before even taking off his coat. After kissing through the whole hallway, setting side tables and framed pictures askew and leaving it as if an earthquake had shaken Marylebone, his only attempt at verbal communication was a hoarse „Bedroom?“ to which Percy answered with a breathless nod of his head. And here they were, naked, sweaty and entangled, carressing each other and revelling in the afterglow of their shared pleasures.

„I don‘t know. I‘m too happy to be hungry.“

Percy smiled. 

„I‘m happy and hungry. Was too nervous to eat before you arrived...“

„Hm“, Maurice groaned. „Then let‘s get something for you. For me as well. But – I‘m torn. I don‘t want to get up.“

„I know“, Percy answered. He laid his arm around Maurice and drew him to his chest. Entangling their feet and arms, they embraced. Maurice hid his face at Percy‘s neck and before long slipped off to sleep.


	5. Between the years

Percy had spent christmas with his family near Edinburgh, Maurice celebrated with his mother and sisters in London. Their farewell – love in a dark morning hour, fervent and desperate as if they would never meet again – had torn at Maurice‘s heart much worse than he had expected. When he saw Percy off at Euston two days before christmas and held his hand through the opened window while the train slowly left the station, he needed all his will power not to hop into the wagon. 

„See you in five days!“, Percy shouted.

Maurice nodded. How it hurt to see his friend disappearing. He still felt his lithe, gracious body riding him, the feel of his soft buttocks when he cupped them, the length and weight of his long white legs straddling him… Five days.

 

But they passed eventually, and he discerned Percy already when his train pulled into Edinburgh station on a dim winter afternoon. Percy skipped and hopped along to welcome him as soon as the train stopped. He looked incredibly young, his cheeks flushed with cold and excitement, his magnificent red curls which could do with a haircut flying while he hustled towards him.

„Maurice!“, he muttered breathlessly, exhaling a visible breath in the damp, cold station. A hinted, awkward embrace with one arm was all they allowed themselves in public, but Percy managed to breath „My love, I missed you so!“ into Maurice‘s ear. Maurice struggled to suppress the urge to kiss Percy. Later. This would have to wait.

„Did you have a good trip?“

„Much too long. Couldn‘t stand that the train took forever to finally bring me to you“, Maurice said. 

„I know. Couldn‘t await it too“, Percy mumbled, trying to look respectable and innocuous. „Let‘s get to the hotel. I got a really nice one. Hope you are fine with it? I thought, you know… our first silvester and all...“ 

The short ride in the taxicab through misty streets demanded all restraint and discipline they could afford. Maurice wanted nothing as much as to finally kiss those warm lips he had desired for almost a week. Procedures at the hotel reception, innocently waiting until the porters had done their job in their rooms prolonged his impatience. At least, it gave him a moment to take in the very pretty suite Percy had chosen: two adjacent rooms divided by a door („we‘ll have to make love in each bed, every night, to make it look honourable“) furnished with dark, polished wood and sumptuous dark red curtains, fires crackling in each of the mantlepieces and a bowl of fruit on the little table in front of the window. The view he got from Edinburgh was as dim as the one from the car: dark, old spires and parapets, twisting stairs winding up hills, all looking like an ancient town out of a fairy tale. Only faintly lighted, much less than London at night, he felt like having arrived in a dream. When he turned into the warm, lighted room again, he saw Percy tipping the porter and softly turning the key from inside. He switched off the main lamp and lighted a small one on the bedside table. With a wicked grin, he came over to Maurice:

„Finally alone. How I longed for this moment. Now it‘s really christmas!“

His mouth found Maurice‘s and they kissed like starving people, licking and gently biting and drowning in each other. They tumbled around the room and slowly approached the vast bed. Maurice slid two fingers under the waistband of Percy‘s trousers and whispered:

„Time to unwrap presents, isn‘t it?“

Percy nodded and helped him out of his jacket. Maurice did the same and laid the two garments on the small sofa on which he sat down to untie his shoes:

„How was your christmas?“

„Same procedure as every year“, Percy answered, flopping onto the bed to undo his own shoes.

„My father accidentally shot Uncle Matthew in the foot when hunting on the twentythird. My uncle had to spend christmas in the hospital.“

Maurice looked up, frightened. Percy came over, hoisted him up and started to undo his waistcoat:

„I sung in church, a solo from „Elijah“.“

„You sing? And what is „Elijah“?“, Maurice asked surprised, unbuttoning Percy‘s waistcoat with impatient fingers and going on with his shirt.

„Mendelssohn.“ Seeing the question in Maurice‘s face, he added: „Mendelssohn is like a warm breeze in your hair. Like being showered with kisses.“ Percy demonstrated on Maurice‘s cheek and neck. Maurice chuckled:

„You are tickling me!“, while Percy grabbed for his wrists and undid his cufflinks. Unbuttoning Maurice‘s shirt quickly and shoving it over his shoulders, he added:

„I got three new nieces and nephews last year and saw them for the first time.“ He kissed Maurice‘s clavicles and licked a moist trail from one shoulder to the other, causing goosebumps on his lover‘s now naked arms.

„How many have you got now?“

„Whole bunch. Fourteen, I think. Getting more with the minute.“

Maurice helped Percy out of his shirt and undershirt as long as his arms were still stretched above his head. Ruffled, tousled red curls flopped back in place when he had freed him of the garment:

„The sister-in-law that hates me came onto the veranda the moment I passed her son a cigarette. Looked like we did it all the time, but in fact is was the first in his life. He wanted to know how it tasted.“

Maurice chuckled and grabbed for Percy‘s fly:

„How old is he?“

„Fourteen.“

Maurice slipped the trousers over Percy‘s hips and, helping him out of them, added:

„And how old are you?“

„26. And you?“ Percy opened Maurice‘s trousers:

„24.“

„Consenting adults. No legal problems in this regard.“, Percy added. Stroking Maurice‘s groin with raised eyebrows, he continued:

„Guinevere, my sister, read a book by a German sociologist or doctor or whatever about sexuality and couldn‘t stop talking about it. At christmas dinner.“ Maurice had pulled down Percy‘s drawers, pulled them over his feet and tried to get rid of his socks while listening to his amused voice: 

„There seems to be a part in female anatomy which was unduly neglected. Some tiny spot giving much pleasure.“

Maurice let his hands wander slowly up his lover‘s legs and stopped on his lovely naked buttock. Percy undressed Maurice completely and laid a hot hand onto his erection:

„One of my sisters-in-law wanted to know all about it. My mother wants to invite this physician or whatever to give a speech at her women‘s club. My philistine brother, the one with the five children, was disgusted and said it‘s obvioulsy not necessary for procreation as he never heard of it.“ Percy thumbed over the tip of Maurice‘s dick. „My father was almost apoplectic and hollered to stop this unchristian nonsense.“ Maurice groaned and leaned into Percy‘s touch.

„So, how was your christmas?“

„Completely uneventful compared to your‘s… Too much to eat, dull sisters, the crossword in the „Times“...“ Maurice mumbled, getting slowly inarticulate and gripping his lover‘s wrist to get more pressure on his penis.

„Let me see if men also have this magical spot“, Percy grinned up to him, led him to the bed and shoved him lovingly onto his back. He slid on his knees and let his tongue swirl over Maurice‘s throbbing penis: „Guinevere claims men are easier...“

„Yes, here, there you go...“ Maurice moaned and twisted up to get more of Percy‘s lips.


	6. Disappearing into Greenwood

„I want to lose myself inside you… disappear into you…“ Maurice mumbled to Percy under him. „Become one with you, so that nobody can find me anymore… Be hidden in this delicious, warm greenwood around me…“

Maurice slowly thrust into Percy.

„I got you…“, Percy whispered, gently stroking his strong shoulders. „We are as united as two men only can be. I‘ll hide you“ - Percy crossed his slim legs across Maurice‘s back, pressed his heels gently onto Maurice‘ buttocks and drew him even deeper into him. The damp sheets squeaked with moisture. Maurice moaned and pressed in even farther - „come here, my love, come as far as you can. Fill me. I‘ll hide you...“

Percy‘s words became incoherent. His eyes widened and his delicate face blushed. He became more and more undone with every steady movement of Maurice inside him. Soon, he unclasped his legs and let his bent knees fall wide open beside him. Closing his eyes, he went limp before spasming violently. He clawed his fingers into Maurice‘s back and took him into velvety, dark delight on the waves of their shared pleasure.


	7. Silvester - To a Happier Year

Maurice saw less of Edinburgh than they had originally planned. The weather was rather cold. Light snow that dusted the ancient city like powdered sugar alternated with heavy fog and their cosy room seemed more desirable than traipsing around in freezing streets. They went for daily short walks, even attempted to visit Holyroodhouse which was closed due to being unheatable, but apart from that Maurice‘s impression of his first stay in Edinburgh was nurtured by what Percy told him in bed. He softly talked about which museums, galleries, churches and castles they were missing. And Maurice was content with it, more than content. 

After having slept together one afternoon in the second bed and having dishevelled it dutifully, he smoothed Percy‘s hair and asked:

„Isn‘t it too much for you? Aren‘t you fagged frightfully?“

„No, I‘m fucked wonderfully. Couldn‘t be happier. Besides, we have to make up for all those lost days over christmas, don‘t we?“, Percy smirked. He stretched languidly and slowly, like a cat. The sheets slipped off him and revealed his pale, long body. Maurice enjoyed his sight delightedly and deliberately didn‘t touch him. What a perfect male body, what sweet protruding hipbones and long, slim thighs. What a gift to have found someone like Percy. Percy groaned indulgently, wriggled back close to Maurice and trailed his chest with one long finger. Kissing him lightly, he asked:

„What do you want to do for New Year‘s Eve?“

„Make love to you.“

Percy smiled and leaned in for one more kiss:

„Of course. But – before? Shall we have dinner somewhere nice?“

Maurice nodded and let his hand wander down Percy‘s long body, shining like mother-of-pearl. Percy groaned contentedly and begged: „Rub my back a bit, would you?“

 

*************

 

Maurice spent the last hour of the year with Percy sleeping on his chest, in almost full evening dress. As they had eaten so little over the last few days, the sumptuous Silvester dinner had rendered them sleepy and immobile. So much so that they collapsed after a short nocturnal stroll through damp, old streets onto their bed. Again. 

Maurice didn‘t mind. He was glad about his lover‘s presence, his beautiful hands on his shoulders and his peaceful breathing. He had so much to sort in his mind and used the time for a personal view back onto the last crazy months. So much had happened. He wasn‘t over Clive‘s wedding yet, if he was honest to himself. Then there was the handsome gamekeeper, robbing him of his virginity unknowingly and clearing the strange, equally unexpected path to Percy. He wondered where Scudder was now. If he was happy? He hoped so, sincerely. He had felt a strange affection for the dark - eyed lad, even if he had known him just for a few days. How late was it in the Argentine now? He had no idea. Four hours, five hours earlier? He had Silvester still ahead of him. Strange thing, these different times on earth. Trying to banish the thought of Scudder from his brain, he tenderly stroked Percy‘s hair. The year had started rather badly, and now?

Percy moved and sighed softly. He looked up, disoriented, and muttered:

„I fell asleep. Sorry. How late is it?“

„After midnight. It‘s 1914, my dear.“

Percy blinked and swallowed:

„Sorry. I really didn‘t mean to sleep through our first Silvester. I‘m hot. Is there any water?“

Maurice kissed his forehead and, slowly entangling himself from Percy, got up to get some water for both of them.

„Some more, please?“ Percy sleepily sat up and fumbled with the buttons of his waistcoat. He slipped his braces down and sat on the edge of the bed to remove his trousers and socks. When Maurice came back, he grabbed him, standing in front of the bed, and hid his face on his stomach:

„You‘re an angel. Thank you.“

Maurice tousled his hair and undressed as Percy had done. Squatting down on the crumpled bed, he asked:

„How about some champagne? It‘s rather tepid, I‘m afraid, but…?“

Percy nodded, still not entirely awake. Maurice came back with two crystal bowls and handed one to his lover. He kissed his hot, flushed cheek, still with the imprint of a crease of fabric he had slept on, and said:

„To a happier year. The last one started in an awful muddle for me, but then I found you. It can only be happier with you.“

„To a happier year!“, Percy repeated.

He moved up and leaned onto the headboard, drawing his legs up to him. Maurice sat on the bed near to him and stroked his knee:

„Are you allright?“

„Yes, still drowsy. Fagged somehow. You know – maybe I shouldn‘t tell you this – I feel a bit strange because I had to think of Richard before falling asleep. Couldn‘t help it, even in your arms.“

„Who is he?“

„My college love, you remember?“

Maurice nodded.

„I thought about how happy, how very happy and lucky I am now, here with you. Because we decided to live truthfully. I was so near accepting his degrading offer. To be his lover in India, I mean. I‘m sure not one of us would have been happy. It would have been the worst muddle. But it was all he could imagine. The leopard cannot change it‘s spots. We two“ - he touched Maurice‘s hand - „accepted that and live accordingly. And are so well off. He could be, too. I‘m pitying his wife also. He really isn‘t into women“, Percy grinned. „Sorry I told you that. Do you mind?“

„No, my love.“

„I thought of him because… you know, a year ends, we leave some things behind us for ever… I was also thinking of him because of the crazy thing time does on the globe, wandering over it like a shadow, reaching him much earlier than us, taking him into 1914 while we still have the old year.“

„I am with you. Mind you, I was thinking of Scudder when you slept. In the Argentine. He still can pop the bottle in a few hours.“

„Hope he celebrates mindfully, from what you told me...“ Maurice smirked:

„He brought us together, remember?“

„A toast to Scudder, giving in to his dark desires, making you see what you really need. May he have a happier year also!“ Percy chinked his glass with Maurice‘s. They kissed with warm lips that tasted sweetly of champagne.

Maurice slipped back, drew his knees up to his chin and hugged them.

„While you slept, I made a New Year‘s resolution.“

„Oh, please, don‘t. Don‘t tell me you are a perfectionist? With plans to better yourself or so?“

„No“, Maurice shook his head. „Nothing like that. I decided to move out from my mother and take my own apartment in town.“

„Are you serious?“, Percy leaned forward with sparkling eyes. „That‘s wonderful news!“

„I thought you don‘t care for New Year‘s resolutions?“, Maurice teased.

„Depends on the kind of resolution. But this one is – very promising. Come here“, he drew Maurice‘s head towards his lips and kissed him messily and giddily. 

„I have a resolution also“, he announced with raised eyebrows. „Let‘s spend as many nights together as we can. And want. Two apartments is wonderful, isn‘t it? I think it‘s healthy for a relationship.“

„Do you think we will ever need time apart from each other?“

„Of course. Don‘t you?“

„Right now, I want to be around you every second of the day. And night.“

„I do too, but we are still honeymooning, you see?“ Maurice smiled. „It would be only natural that it changes some day. And then we can just hide away in our respective apartments, pout and sulk or whatever we want to do, and love each other even more if we meet again.“

Maurice raised his champagne bowl again: „To two happy apartments!“

 

 

Towards evening on the first day of the untouched, new year, they got ready in their room to leave and board the sleeper to London. Percy straightened Maurice‘s tie, smoothed his lapel and said:

„As your legal consultant, let me advise you that being on a sleeper is a bit different from staying in a hotel. People eventually annoyed by our behaviour can leave the hotel, but they couldn‘t leave a train that easily. So laws are to be obeyed stricter there. No pats on the bum in the corridor.“

Maurice nodded seriously.

„Once we are in our cabin and the door is locked, things are different. But I need to remind you to keep your voice down in case we...“

„Forgive me for laughing, but – you should take care to keep your voice down yourself. I‘m not loud at all.“

„Neither am I! Come on!“

„Percy, half of Edinburgh knows by now you came – how often in the last days?“

„That‘s not true!“, Percy blushed anyway.

„You can be very – well, audible. Did nobody ever tell you?“

„No, because it‘s not true“, Percy mumbled stubbornly. Maurice kissed his pouting lips:

„You are, dear, and I‘m proud to be the reason for your...“

Percy squeezed Maurice‘s buttocks and replied:

„Don‘t pull my leg. And, you know, I‘m just saying – let‘s try to be careful.“

„Yes, of course. I know. Hope I can afford this professional consultation on a Sunday.“

„I‘ll let you know how to pay, don‘t worry“, Percy smirked.


	8. Domestic Bliss

Percy was almost the only lone walker in wintery, grey Regent‘s Park. Even on a Saturday morning, most sensible people abhorred the aftermath of the strong gale that had shaken the capital over the last two days and plastered the park with broken, bare branches. Not so Percy – he loved to brave the elements, to have the fresh air in his hair. It felt considerably softer and warmer also. A promise of gentle rain lingered in the sky. The storm was over, and Percy revelled in being outdoors again. He strode on in a decided, happy pace, clutching his long coat and peacock blue scarf now and again while the wind played with it. He needed to move, to feel himself, to enjoy being so wonderfully alive. He had felt himself even more alive only last night in Maurice‘s arms – at the core, the sensations were the same: faster pulse, blood pounding, muscles warm and alert, feeling free and wonderfully in tune with himself. But he needed the cool, salty sea air around him now. While Maurice felt himself in a different way while coaching in Bermondsey, Percy wanted some silent, solitary nature.

Having entered the park from Baker Street, he strode on on the outer circle. How memorable the evening at the Schlegel‘s yesterday had turned out. Percy felt a new wave of warmth gush in his stomach when he remembered Maurice‘s reaction to Helen‘s and his rendition of a little Duparc. He had expected anything but this complete show of affection and love. Even indifference or amusement wouldn‘t have surprised him more than the total entrancement of his lover. He hadn‘t planned on using Tibby‘s birthday party for getting all the attention himself, but his old Oxford chum was happily nibbling away like a squirrel on the luxurious spread of cakes and other delicacies and didn‘t mind when the rest of the party demanded to hear the results of Helen‘s and his continual rehearsing. They did it just for fun. Well, he did it because Helen was a splendid, sensitive pianist and wouldn‘t abhor the newer French composers he favoured. Margaret always urged them to give a real, planned musical soirée, and after the success of last night, he might not be able to evade it any longer. Percy loved to sing, but was always concerned if he was good enough. He was happy to do it just privately, for his own enjoyment. Well, a little concert in the house of friends couldn‘t hurt. Especially since it seemed to make Maurice so happy.

Maurice had been curious and open to meet Tibby, who sang in choir with Percy, and his talkative, lively sisters. The liberal minded trio at Wickham Place welcomed them without any reservations. Percy knew they had no prejudices against – well, almost against anything but dusted Conservatives. He had told Maurice some couples like themselves were regular visitors, so Maurice felt at ease at once and was welcomed warmly, especially by Margaret who had been concerned about Percy‘s amorous life since the desaster with Richard a few years ago. Maurice‘s reaction after their first song came still as a surprise: he got up, seemingly touched and entranced, stepped towards himself at the piano and hugged him wordlessly and closely, in front of everyone in the living room. Percy had wrapped his arms around him, equally touched, and after some seconds, they just held hands and looked into each other‘s eyes. Maurice‘s were misted over when he whispered: 

„I had no idea you could sing like that.“

Percy pressed his hands and tried to suppress the urge to kiss him, then and there. He was flooded with love and affection, stared in his lover‘s beautiful eyes and heard the demands for some more Duparc only through a fog.

 

Stepping around some fallen branches and slowly taking the turn back towards Marylebone, Percy thought about what had followed in their apartment. His heart fastened when he remembered with how much gentleness and affection Maurice had made love to him. Maurice was everything he could only wish for in a lover – his usual approach was energetic and passionate, sometimes hurried even, sometimes starting right where they embraced at the moment desire caught him, be it the kitchen, the hallway or any other place. And he always felt so warm. This really was a new experience for Percy: to have an athletic lover who trained his body regularly. Even when sleeping, Maurice exuded warmth and pulsing life. Whenever he embraced him when coming home, Maurice felt warm. His hands, his neck, his lips. Percy usually needed woolen socks in bed at least six months a year - not so with Maurice. Should he ever get cold feet towards morning, he just pressed them against Maurice‘s warm legs and fell asleep again. Percy loved the vigorous, virile side of Maurice, and even if their physical love held enough moments of tenderness, the last night had surprised and delighted him.

Maurice had undressed him rather slowly, with many kisses on the way already, and in bed, he had been caressed with so much love and tenderness as never before. The gentlest kisses on his throat and Adam‘s apple, down his chest, highlighting his lungs, and hundreds of soft little kisses sprinkled all over his stomach. When Maurice had asked if there were any parts of his body left involved in making music, Percy had guided his hand silently over his heart. Maurice left it there while he drew Percy into the most passionate, wet, interminable kiss on his lips. This had already been the most exciting, earth-shattering sort of union. Percy would have been satisfied to just share their deepest feelings like this, but Maurice, wonderful, virile Maurice, went on to express them in the most carnal way. Starting with kissing and teasing his left nipple which he had caressed before with his thumb, he slowly worked his way lower, kissing and stroking him for what seemed like hours before he finally penetrated him as gently and slowly as never before. A wave of a Duparc-song still swirled through his mind before Percy deliciously lost himself. They truly melted into each other. Percy felt only softness, velvety softness envelopping them in their intimate embrace. They both relished in the otherwise tantalising slow pace of their movements while their joint hips undulated in a languid rhythm. Percy tried to feel every inch of skin, every tiny cell of his lover and wanted to permeate into him, to become one. His orgasm, reached so slowly and steadily, was the intensest he ever had had. Until yesterday, the one in Edinburgh shortly after christmas had been the most earth shattering one of his life. But Maurice had succeeded in topping even this. Gleefully, Percy kicked a branch lying in his way and skipped around the next one, earning himself an amused smile of another lone gentleman taking his constitutional. While he smoothed his fluttering scarf, he smiled back. Wiping a gust of late raindrops that had splashed from a tree onto his forehead and catching his flying scarf again, he called: 

„Splendid weather, isn‘t it?“

The gentleman frowned and grunted. Percy skipped over one more puddle and grinned. He felt like fourteen. At the most.

 

 

****************************

 

 

When Maurice returned from boxing classes in the early afternoon, he found Percy lounging in his favourite chair next to the crackling fireplace, his feet up on a small stool and a book in his hands. Maurice dropped his bag and got rid of his wet coat and shoes before approaching his lover – a picture of bourgeois bliss with his pot of tea beside him, sheltered from the ugly weather outside. Maurice swept a wet strand of hair out of his face before lowering himself onto the armrest and leaning in to kiss Percy‘s raised lips.

„Did you enjoy being manhandled by your meaty boys?“

Maurice smirked:

„I‘ll give you manhandled...“

His eyes sparkled and he kissed Percy even longer on the mouth. The boys he coached still fresh on his mind, Percy indeed was the greatest possible contrast to „meaty boys“: delicate and long-limbed, his pale skin faintly glowing like mother-of-pearl, remote and refined like a prince. Percy, enjoying the kiss, sighed and drew him closer. As he slipped almost onto his lap, Maurice grunted „Wait...“ and lowered himself onto the stool in front of Percy. Looking up at him affectionately, he stroked his legs, put them onto his lap and and bent forward for one more kiss.

„You smell of fresh air. Like the sea itself“, Percy buried his nose in Maurice‘s hair.

„I smell, that‘s what you want to say. Need to wash presently.“

„Just a minute. I actually like it if you‘re sweaty.“

„No!“ Maurice looked disgusted.

„Yes, I do. Really. For one, it‘s - just you.“ Maurice wrinkled his nose. „And it reminds me of – you know, when we‘re sweaty together...“ Maurice smiled again and searched for Percy‘s lips. Holding him at the shoulders, gently stroking his neck with a thumb, he mumbled:

„Do you still think of last night?“

Percy nodded, overcome with a sudden hot wave in his lower stomach.

„Of course I do. I‘ll never forget it, and if I live to be ninety.“

They looked deep into each other‘s eyes.

„That was somehow – special, wasn‘t it? I didn‘t know this sort of connection is possible.“

Percy nodded again, silent and full of affection. He smoothed Maurice‘s hair back, more often than necessary, and ended with a kiss on his nose.

„How is your apartment doing?“

„I just stepped in on the way from the Mission. The floor is almost finished. One more room to go. It looks awful, tools and dust everywhere, but they promised to be finished by mid-week.“

„And then, the walls.“

„Yes. I‘m sorry if I‘m a nuisance here. It takes much longer than I thought.“

„You are not a nuisance, silly! I love having you here. You and your sweaty boxing clothes...“ Percy smirked.

Maurice shot up: 

„Ah, I wanted to wash. Sorry.“

„Stay.“ Percy drew him down again. „Stay and tell me what you want to do before the concert.“

Maurice thought for a second:

„Getting sucked off by you. Wash. Have a bite of something. I‘m starved.“

„In that particular order?“

Maurice smirked:

„No. Let me go to the bathroom first. And I‘m afraid eating really is necessary rather soon.“

„Well, so – I‘ll have a very yummy dessert...“, Percy raised his eyebrows. Maurice got up, still holding Percy‘s hand. He followed Maurice into the bathroom and watched him ditching his clothes one by one. Gathering some from the floor, he said:

„On my way back from the walk, I was at this wonderful deli on High Street, you know? The one with the splendid sandwich fillers? I got some ham also, and potato salad, and I even boiled eggs. I‘ll do a magnificent tea while you wash. To vitalize you for further deeds...“

 

Percy hugged Maurice from behind and leaned his face onto his naked back. Maurice clutched Percy‘s hands on his chest and looked at him in the mirror. 

„What‘s up?“

„Those meaty boys...“, Percy stopped for a second. „Do you actually enjoy their company?“

„Oh yes, I do. That‘s why I still coach them in my free time.“

„Yes, I understand. I meant – do you enjoy it beyond, well, humanitarian reasons? Athletic reasons?“

Maurice smiled and turned: 

„You mean if I get a different sort of pleasure being around them?“

Percy nodded and graced Maurice‘s chest, a bit insecurely.

„Actually, I do“, Maurice continued decidedly. „They are a world from where I come from. Where we come from. No fancy schools, superstitious behaviour because you were born so and so, no arrogance because of titles you didn‘t do anything for. They just – are. They are fully there, fully in the moment, and don‘t care or ask a lot about next month or next year. I really enjoy this. In boxing, you need to have this attitude. No talk talk talk, no ideas, just – doing it, reacting in the right moment.“

Percy nodded. Maurice kissed his forehead and bent to take off his drawers.

„And do you ever – sorry, I know I sound like a jealous wife – are you ever interested in them, ahem, erotically?“

„Of course“, Maurice stepped out of his drawers and smirked. „So would you, if you saw them splashing around in the bath.“

Percy shrugged and smiled lopsidedly.

„I think they are very attractive, in a very different way from you. I mean, these boys work on the docks all day, lifting all sorts of stuff. Some build the tube. They are completely inside their bodies, know what I mean?“

Percy raised his eyebrows while Maurice took off his socks.

„I mean, you are, too, but - different. You are“ - Maurice got up in one swift movement and put his hands on Percy‘s back - „ you are like a total work of art. Everything is so refined, and so in tune, down to your beautiful soul which swept me away last night.“ He kissed Percy softly on the lips. „They are – muscular, strong, in a certain way quite appealing. I guess rolling around in the hay with one of them would be fun. But that‘s all – when it‘s finished, it‘d be over. You are so much more. A true companion.“

Percy kissed him also. Maurice turned back to the sink and looked at Percy in the mirror:

„Besides, class is still the big divide.“

„Despite my sister‘s efforts.“

„Yes,“ Maurice smiled. „She does her best, I‘m sure, but – just imagine, just for fun: were I together with one of those boys, where could we live? Where would he feel comfortable and I not too awkward? I could forget Brunswick Square. Unless he likes feeling like a mistress or something. Our families would never meet. I‘d keep him a secret, talk to nobody about him. Besides, I couldn‘t take him to the symphony, now could I?“ 

„Guinevere would say you HAVE to take him to the symphony!“, Percy replied.

Maurice turned once more to Percy: „I‘m afraid loving outside your class is just not feasible. Not in England.“

„I guess nowhere else, also.“ They looked at each other. „And – this whole introvert business on top of it. The man who loves a man, and outside his class, has yet to be born.“

Maurice glanced seriously at Percy:

„Maybe he already is? Maybe he‘s among us, and we just don‘t know him? We live in such a safe, sheltered bubble, you know. Despite Guinevere, despite the Schlegels. Every time I cross the river from Bermondsey, I have the feeling to cross into another country. A continent, even.“

„I know what you mean.“ Percy licked Maurice‘s clavicle and kissed his shoulder.

„No, let me wash first!“ Percy smiled and looked deeply into Maurice‘s eyes.

„Sorry for this cross examination.“

„It‘s all right.“ He tousled Percy‘s curls. „Did you get your book?“

„Yes, yes, it arrived.“

„And did you look at your blue window?“

„Oh yes, of course I did! I love this place. Maybe I need to move in there some day.“

„Into a bookshop?“

Maurice turned up the water and tested it with his fingers.

„Yes, why not? Today, they had the most splendid white bouquet in front of the window. So, so pretty...“ Percy‘s voice trailed away while he left the bathroom with a bundle of Maurice‘s clothes in his arms.


	9. Old Flame

Percy and Maurice arrived rather late at the Albert Hall, the intended quick encounter in bed having unexpectedly turned into something longer altogether. They didn‘t mind, but tried to attain some respectability of attire in one corner of the cloakroom: Percy smoothed Maurice‘s unruly hair and mumbled „really should have run a comb through it!“ while Maurice tried to straighten Percy‘s hastily bound tie. Completely lost in each other, whispering if they shouldn‘t better have taken a bath, they were startled when a sharp voice asked:

„Need the gentlemen one more hand? Anything wrong here?“

They turned, rather taken by surprise. Maurice let our a sharp breath when he saw Clive Durham, more stiff and upright than ever.

„Clive, I say, old man! You gave me a start! What are you doing here?“

„I rather wonder what you are doing. Let me tell you for your own sake: it looks rather peculiar if you can‘t keep your hands off each other. Avoid that in public, would you?“

Maurice grazed Percy‘s lapel deliberately and drew him even closer for a few seconds. He shot his lover an amused smile before he turned to Clive with raised eyebrows:

„Mr Durham, guardian of purity as ever. May I introduce you to Percy Greenwood? You are colleagues, actually.“

„Oh, this is your college chum? Delighted to meet you, I heard so much about you!“

Percy beamed and offered his pale, slender hand to Clive with a warm smile. He frowned when Clive shook it only perfunctorily and rather reserved. Maurice turned to Clive and held him by the shoulders:

„Dear. I didn‘t see you in – months, isn‘t it? How are you?“

He tried to draw him closer and started to lean his cheek against Clive‘s. Clive withdrew like burned and extended his hand pompously to his former love.

„We really got out of touch, I‘m sorry. I was wondering more than once how you‘re doing.“

„You could have written!“

„I did, only about – three weeks ago? Your mother called and said you got a flat in the city. I didn‘t want to ask for the address.“

„Why ever not? I‘d been delighted to get a note from you! But actually, the flat isn‘t ready yet. It‘s in Brunswick Square, by the way, but right now I‘m staying with Percy here. In Marylebone.“

Clive stared unsmilingly from one to the other. Percy was rather taken aback by the austere stiffness of Maurice‘s Cambridge friend. He had heard a lot about him, but hadn‘t expected someone as insecure and rigid. Obviously, Durham wasn‘t glad to see Maurice in his presence, so Percy asked tactfully:

„Would you excuse me for a second...“ and, squeezing Maurice‘s hand, disappeared into the vestibule.

Maurice and Clive looked at each other wordlessly. Maurice felt his pulse hum in his ears – Percy was his great love and more beautiful than any one else he knew, but looking into those intensely blue eyes, seeing Clive‘s vexed, sad gaze, stirred unexpected feelings in him. He swallowed and stayed silent for some more seconds before he asked in a false jolly voice:

„Care for a smoke?“

Clive nodded and followed him outside. It was cold, late patrons arrived hurriedly, the women gathering their skirts to take the steps even faster. Maurice and Clive found a quiet corner. Clive checked his watch, stiffly and important as if he were the conductor of the evening, and announced:

„Seven minutes.“

„Not nearly enough to ask you how you‘re really doing. Dear Clive“, Maurice looked deeply into his eyes while offering his cigarette case. Their hands collided. Clive‘s were cold and trembling.

„Sorry, didn‘t mean to...“

He seemed confused and uneasy.

„What‘s up, Clive? You seem so – I don‘t know. Wound up. Unhappy. Aren‘t you looking forward to the symphony?“

„I am, most definitely. One of the last joys in my life.“, Clive grunted sarcastically. Maurice gazed at him, taken aback, not sure how to react. Clive shot him a furtive glance and averted his face again with nervously fluttering eyelids.

„How is married life?“, Maurice asked cheerfully. Clive stared at him, silently and reproachfully. Maurice held the tension and didn‘t insist further. Handing Clive a cigarette and turning to light it, he mumbled:

„I see.“

They both smoked in silence for some seconds until Clive whispered through clenched teeth:

„This redhead – is he your, I mean, are you…. Is he…?

„He‘s my lover, yes.“

„Good lord, Maurice“, Clive flung his head away in an impatient, hurt gesture. Maurice even meant to hear him snort. Some more late-comers hurried into the vestibule, chattering and laughing.

„I‘m happy, Clive. I‘d love to see you happy also.“

„Are you aware you are dancing on a volcanoe? Exposing yourself like I saw you earlier?“

„Come on! Don‘t exaggerate! You need a special sort of – imagination, I‘d call it, to see more than two chums helping each other!“

„You are too old to behave like that in public“, Clive spat. „Be more careful.“

„Actually, I haven‘t felt as young in a long time“, Maurice observed. He blew out some smoke. They looked at each other, Clive with a sudden openness and longing. His lips were still so beautiful. Maurice was full of sympathy and affection when he asked softly:

„Are you not happy with Anne?“

Clive returned his caring, warm gaze. Desperate, but honest, he finally shook his head without saying anything. The bell chimed to announce the beginning of the concert. They looked at each other, still without words, until Maurice dropped and crushed his cigarette and said:

„Let‘s have a glass at intermission.“

„Anne is with me.“

„Splendid! I‘d love to see her again.“

 

 

******************

 

Percy waited in front of their entrance to the hall, handsome and relaxed. Maurice noticed a surge of pride that this beauty, of all men here, was his intimate friend. Even with Clive still fresh on his mind, his heart leaped. Percy took some steps forward to meet him and slightly touched his elbow:

„Here you are. You got the tickets, don‘t you?“

„Oh yes, sorry“, Maurice groped in his jacket. „Sorry for being late, we were outside having a smoke.“

„It‘s all right, I came here only now. Met a damsel in distress at the restrooms.“

„Oh?“ Maurice showed their tickets to the usher and they proceeded into the full hall. Voices hummed, and the farther they got to their row, the more intoxicating the wafts of perfume became.

„Some decoration on her handbag got loose, dozens of pearls clattering on the floor. I helped her gathering them. She almost cried - not because of the damage, but for getting some attention and kindness. You know the sort of desperation?“

Maurice and Percy apologized to the patrons in their row that had to get up to let them pass. Arriving at their seat, Maurice nodded:

„Poor neglected wife?“, he asked.

Percy nodded:

„And guess whose?“ He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

„I don‘t know? Tell me.“ Maurice leant back and arranged his long legs as good as possible.

„Your beastly Clive appeared again, obviously in an even fouler temper, and was not at all delighted to see me again. Tell me – does he have a problem?“

„More than one, I‘m afraid.“

„Well, I got us an invitation for Easter to Penge.“

„What?“ Maurice turned his head in true amazement. The lights started to dim.

„Anne, that‘s her name, invited us when she learned I know you. She sends her special love and says she misses you.“

„Oh“, Maurice grunted. „I‘ll tell you what to expect: Clive will be awfully busy during our stay, campaigning and what not“ - the conductor entered the stage and was greeted by a warm wave of applause - „and we‘ll be stranded with Anne. Not that I mind“, he whispered. Percy gave his hand a tiny squeeze and grinned: 

„I always longed to see the place of your juvenile misconduct.“


	10. Lime Trees on Brunswick Square

When the first light-green buds on the lime trees outside opened their delicate, silk-like new leaves, Maurice moved into his newly renovated apartment on Brunswick Square. Much hustling, shuffling and moving had been going on in these rooms, and he almost never had been alone. Sometimes for a quick visit to the bare rooms to see the progress of the projects, often in dim twilight before the lamps were installed, sometimes to take last measurements or make sure furniture or curtains would really fit into their designated spaces. The apartment still needed some time to recuperate from the upheaval the change of owners meant, so it seemed. Even if he had spent some peaceful moments here with Percy, relishing in just being here, he felt serenity descend into the rooms and his soul for the first time on this clement May afternoon.

All windows were open, the curtains swayed gently in the warm spring breeze. Maurice leaned out of his window. From his second-floor rooms, he looked directly into the park of the Foundling‘s Hospital opposite. Fresh lime trees, soft screaming and laughing of children, cooing doves. A soothing sight. Maurice sighed anyway and patted his jacket again – yes, a soft crumbling noise. Clive‘s letter was still there. After reading it all too quickly and impatiently, almost while taking off his coat, he had sat down again on his new sofa to understand what Clive wrote. A letter of him was a rarity these days, but Maurice hadn‘t expected a testimonial so personal and unabashed from his old love. Clive always was intent on keeping him at a distance, physically as well as emotionally. Maurice was only the more shattered to find him finally speak up and confess, even if in a rather vague way – a measure of precaution, to be sure, for an aspiring politician who feared blackmail or scandals even in the most private surroundings. Nevertheless, if you knew Clive, the letter was unusually affectionate, as were it‘s contents: Clive basically told him that, after ordering his military uniform and preparing himself to join the forces at the first sign of a war, he had designated a certain pocket, near his heart, for some of Maurice‘s letters. „Your letters are the only ones I‘m going to take with me. If I die, know that you were with me in my last moments.“

 

Maurice had had to swallow hard. He knew Clive wasn‘t exaggerating or romaticizing anything – the rumors of an impending war had gotten ever louder, and Maurice felt ever more disgusted by the enthusiasm and exaltation men his generation exuded. He felt like a stranger among them and tried to avoid the topic at work or at the gym. But lately, this had become impossible. His fellows seemed to see it as a great fun to fight and return in glory. Some couldn‘t even expect the beginning. Some got new self-confidence by having prospects of becoming a hero. Some, like Clive, instrumentalized the beastly offering of their crazy time to show publicly how much they loved their country. „Bet he paraded around Penge in his uniform already“… Maurice thought bitterly. „Bet he sees it as an easy way out of his marriage. Poor thing.“ His heart ached anyway. 

 

The Easter visit at Penge hadn‘t exactly been a success. Clive seemed more remote than ever, seemingly disturbed by Percy‘s easygoing presence and the fact that Maurice and he really seemed to be a couple. It didn‘t help that Percy burst into the Russet Room late on the first evening, wearing only his bathrobe and seemingly nothing under it and declaring decidedly: „I need you now, can‘t wait a minute longer!“ before he saw Maurice and Clive sitting on the bed in earnest conversation. Clive was on the verge of a life-threatening coronary condition, Maurice torn between giggles and pity. Clive had left on the next morning on unexpected campaigning duties and Maurice hadn‘t heard from him since. 

 

Suddenly, Maurice noticed the noise of a key in the door and light steps approaching. He still leaned in the window but turned around slightly to meet Percy‘s sparkling eyes. Maurice smiled – his lover was always good-humoured and friendly. That was his natural disposition. Always ready to smile. And to kiss. Always open and a joy to be with. Maurice turned completely to welcome him in his arms. Clutching his back ferociously, Percy hugged him hard and rested his head at his shoulder. Maurice heard him breathing audibly. 

„Did you run up the stairs?“

Percy nodded into Maurice‘s hair before he pulled away and looked at him:

„Couldn‘t wait to use my very own key for the first time.“

He let out a gust of air and inhaled heavily. After smoothing Maurice‘s hair and trailing a hand over his cheek, he breathed calmer. „How can you be so beautiful?“ Percy leaned in for a kiss. Maurice kissed him back with an unexpected fervour. Dark thoughts of loss and the fragility and finality of life swirled in his mind and mingled with a sudden lust to live. He wanted to live before dying! He wanted to kiss and hold Percy many, many more times! Clutching almost desperately at his lover‘s delicate shoulders, their tongues met and caressed each other. Percy moaned. Maurice felt his abandon, felt how he melted in his arms and became pliable and soft. He tangled his fingers in the unruly curls at Percy‘s neck and pulled him even closer until Percy muttered:

„I‘m hot. Let me get out of this jacket. What got into you?“, he added with a wicked grin, brushing Maurice‘s windswept hair back in place.

„Lust for life, I guess“, Maurice whispered. He smoothed Percy‘s waistcoat, grazed his lithe torso and started to unbutton the vest. Percy looked at him with a sudden seriousness:

„Darling, you look – sad? Are you all right?“

Maurice stopped his fingers. He let one hand rest on Percy‘s stomach, the other wandered onto his back. Holding him, but with a little distance between them, he blinked. He kissed him softly and tenderly on the lips before continueing:

„I‘m – not all right, I guess. I got a strange letter from Clive. A sort of - farewell, I guess. I don‘t understand why he anticipates things.“

Percy frowned: „Things?“

Maurice shrugged his shoulders: „His own death. During war action.“

They looked at each other without speaking. Percy stroked Maurice‘s forearm and said softly:

„Sounds awful.“

„It is. I‘m upset. And confused. And sad. How can he be so – stupid?“, Maurice spat out. He shook his head. Percy sighed. 

„He is just one of thousands.“

Maurice suddenly blurted out: „Percy, I can‘t stand the thought of losing you too. I can‘t. I couldn‘t go on living.“ He clutched Percy desperately and drew him as near as possible. They swayed, but held on to each other.

„Me too, my love. Me too.“

„We just found each other. I don‘t want this to be over so soon. It would kill me.“

„It‘s all right, Morrie. Calm down.“ Percy stroked his shoulders. „Darling? Look at me?“

Maurice raised his head. His face was still contorted as if in pain, his eyes more gray than blue.

„Look here. I wanted to talk to you about this anyway.“

Maurice tried to pull himself together visibly, but his upper lip trembled.

„Percy, I can‘t… Don‘t...“

„What?“

„Don‘t tell me you changed your mind about conscientious objection.“

„I did.“

Maurice looked at him incredulous and cried: „What?“

„Calm down. Come here“ - Percy led Maurice to the windowsill and gently pushed him down to sit on it with his face to the room. He arranged himself between his legs and laid his hands onto Maurice‘s shoulders. Maurice dropped his head in despair.

„You know, I wanted to volunteer with legal assistance for conscientious objectors.“ Maurice nodded, avoiding Percy‘s eyes. „Hayward and Andrew are still going with it, but I started to doubt the whole affair. I heard so much, talked so much with older colleagues. Fact is – it might not run as smoothly as we all wish. Once the war gets dirtier, COs will be drafted anyway. They‘ll find a way to do that. People like you and me would be the first choice. Fairly young, not married… And then we couldn‘t do anything about it. Not even with my contacts.“

Maurice nodded. He raised his head and shot his lover a desperate glance. 

„That‘s why I wanted to ask you to go to Alexandria with me.“

„Pardon me?“ Maurice looked puzzled. „Did you say Alexandria?“

Percy smirked and raised his eyebrows.

„What can you mean?“

Percy‘s fingers played with Maurice‘s collar and tie while he continued:

„The Red Cross is desperately looking for staff in Alexandria. Nobody wants to go there. But they need volunteers to help with a variety of tasks. Involving legal matters. And men with a background in finance are very coveted also.“

„What?“ Maurice eyes still were confused.

„If we secure ourselves jobs there, make ourselves irreplaceable, our work might get acknowledged as a different kind of civil service to our country. Once we‘re established and needed there, we might get any kind of certificate that we are indispensable there.“

„But Alexandria – that‘s basically Africa?“, Maurice asked.

„Yes“, Percy nodded. His inquiring hands stopped on Maurice‘s shoulders. He had all the light from the window on him, a glowing, radiant figure. He looked Maurice straight and warm into the eyes and whispered with a sudden solemnity:

„Come to Africa with me.“

Maurice held his gaze and stopped his hands on Percy‘s hips. Both didn‘t dare to breath for a few seconds until Maurice broke the tension:

„All right then. Let‘s go to Africa.“

„What?“ Percy opened his eyes wide and stared at Maurice. His lips twitched: „Are you serious?“

Maurice nodded. He got up and embraced Percy:

„I‘ll go anywhere you want me to. Argentina, Africa, Iceland – I don‘t care. As long as we‘re together.“

„Dearest...“, Percy mumbled. „Don‘t you need a minute to think about it? Or a night?“

„No.“

„But – your new apartment?“

Maurice shrugged: „It‘s rotten luck. Wouldn‘t be much of use for me if I were in a war, though. So – Alexandria or some trench doesn‘t make much of a difference. For the apartment, I mean.“

„It turned out so beautifully“, Percy sighed.

„Yes, it did. Let‘s enjoy it as long as we can. But – tell me about Alexandria. What‘s there?“

„Heat, mosquitoes, water you have to boil first...“, Percy smirked.

„And you.“ Maurice kissed him. „No, seriously, what‘s there to like?“

„Well...“. Percy wracked his brain. „They had books? Once?“ He smiled apologetically. „They are in dire need of a working administration, preferably after our excellent British standards?“ Maurice pursed his lips. „Dates? And figs? And a beach?“ This got an approving grunt of Maurice. Percy suddenly cried: „Now I got something to convince you: the Code Napoleon!“

„The what?“

„You don‘t know the Code Napoleon? Didn‘t we talk about it at your first visit in my office?“

Maurice patted Percy‘s shoulder:

„Yes, yes, I remember – you mean this thing...“

„Yes, yes, yes. We‘d be unspeakables there anyway, of a sort, I guess, but at least – not against the law.“

Maurice hugged Percy and let his hand slowly wander over his buttocks: 

„Speaking of unspeakables – may I finally introduce you to my new bed?“

Percy smirked:

„Now? In the afternoon?“

Maurice nodded and took his hand. 

„Have you ever seen the afternoon sun in the bedroom?“

„No. Show me.“

Maurice raised his eyebrows, but instead of moving on, he kissed Percy‘s wrist and slowly searched for one of his nipples under his shirt. He caressed it through the soft cotton. Percy shivered, closed his eyes and let out the tiniest moan. Maurice moved closer. With one hand, he started to pull the shirt and undershirt out of Percy‘s trousers and caressed his silky, warm stomach. While he gently put one finger onto Percy‘s lips, he whispered:

„Make me wet… for you...“

Percy opened his eyes. His pupils were already larger than before. His eyelids fluttered. Slowly, teasingly, he licked with his hot tongue over the tip of Maurice‘s finger before sucking him in. All was soft and warm, and Maurice couldn‘t suppress a groan. He pushed Percy‘s shirt upwards, withdrew his moist finger and closed his wet lips with a kiss while simultaneously bringing his finger onto the hard little nipple. Percy shuddered and moaned into Maurice‘s mouth. He put one thigh between Maurice‘s and cupped the promising bulge between Maurice‘s legs. Slowly rubbing into each other, they enjoyed their mutual excitement for a few seconds until Maurice couldn‘t take it anymore and whispered:

„Come!“

 

 

Soon afterwards, the tentative, soft spring sun drew patterns on Percy‘s skinny naked figure. Maurice gently trailed one finger over a patch of sweat on Percy‘s chest, painting circles around his nipple. Percy still heaved with audible breathing and had his eyes closed. A vein on his delicate throat throbbed visibly. Maurice put a hand above his still pounding heart and kissed his salty neck. He just had pulled out of Percy and still hovered above him, shifting his weight on his elbows as much as possible to spare his lithe lover. Percy blinked and swallowed. His lips were raspberry-red. He shut his eyes again, exhausted and happy, and pursed his lips invitingly. Maurice kissed them, gently and tenderly.

„I love it to be inside you.“

Percy nodded with closed eyes and mumbled:

„Love to have you inside me.“

„You always look like an angel after we...“ Maurice slowly stroked his cheek.

Percy smiled quickly and swallowed again:

„That‘s because I‘m dead and in heaven now.“

Maurice played with Percy‘s copper curls and kissed him on the forehead. Salty there also. Had they lasted this long, or was the weather really warming?

„Did we make any noise?“ Percy looked at the open window.

„No one cares. Those brats over there are way louder than you.“

He stroked Maurice‘s upper arms. They glowed golden in the early evening sun. How perfect and strong his lover was. Percy kissed one arm and settled himself more comfortably under Maurice. Their wet stomachs made a funny squishing noise.

„Want me to clean you up?“

„No no no. Stay.“ Percy clutched his back and laced one thigh over Maurice‘s.

„I was thinking about the apartment.“

„While we…?“

„Yes. Just for a few seconds“, Maurice smirked. „I‘ll ask Kitty if she wants to move in here. She mentioned a place of her own recently. There‘s a bit of tension since Ada married, you know… Kitty couldn‘t afford to rent anything. I could let her stay here. Have some roommates maybe. Start her own life...“ 

„You are the best“, Percy said. Maurice licked Percy‘s lips slowly and covered them with a wet kiss, making Percy squeal and giggle.

„And Alexandria – tell me, this Alexander, wasn‘t he an unspeakable himself?“

„Even more so than you.“

Maurice tickled Percy at his ribs until he buckled under him and gasped between fits of laughter.

„Say, I think that‘s just the place for us, isn‘t it?“

„Told you so“, Percy replied, biting Maurice‘s neck.

 

 

Maurice slipped off his lover and arranged himself besides him. He put his head onto Percy‘s chest and looked around the bedroom. The sun had wandered and shone into the room at a very low angle. The new wooden floor gleamed almost golden in the evening light. The exquisite curtains, the old dresser smelling of beeswax, a selection of favourite books on it – he would miss this. But – these were things only, replaceable, mundane stuff. Even the whole apartment was replaceable. Percy wasn‘t. Percy was unique, lovely and the one person on earth Maurice wanted to spend his life with. Maurice draped his arm closer over Percy‘s shoulder. The apartment would wait for them while Percy and he embarked on an unplanned adventure.

**Author's Note:**

> Source for Alec's emigration: this very interesting and enjoyable article by Wendy Moffat on pen.org about Christopher Isherwood and E. M. Forster
> 
> https://pen.org/a-great-unrecorded-history-a-new-life-of-e-m-forster/
> 
> "In the draft Morgan showed Christopher years before, Alec emigrated to South America, leaving Maurice only to hope for a reunion." 
> 
> It's rather long, but fascinating to read about the re-discovery of our "bible" here.
> 
> eyeslikerain.tumblr.com


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